now playing: Sara Bareilles' Uncharted from Sara Bareilles' album Kaleidoscope Heart

I really didn't want to make a blog post on this, since I think it doesn't really mean anything big, but it's been creeping in my brain for a few days now :)) I'm so pathetic.

I was talking to by friends-slash-orgmates Isay, Alleana, and Maia one day in our org's nook. I showed them my notebook (which Denise gave) which contained some random thoughts and sketches. It also had some mini quotes-slash-conversations of my fanfics, like how I want the next chapter to go for my two ongoing fanfics.

Maia suddenly said that if anyone would court me, it'll be really hard for the guy. Because when you read my fanfics, and get to all the giddy stuff, actually you'd think it'd be really hard to court me :)) Not that anyone has ever tried to court me or anything, but oh well.

I guess, if someone HYPOTHETICALLY liked me, wanted to court me, and read my fanfics first before actually trying to court me, then he'd most likely get intimidated :)) I mean, the scenes in those fanfics are just. I can't even. :"> And yes, realize how I emphasized the word 'hypothetically'.

But, truth be told, I'm a really really REALLY shallow person. I mean, It's really easy to make me happy. And I get giddy over the silliest of things. If you see me write the giddy chapters (especially for 'Emergency Boyfriend') I have to literally stop writing for five minutes every time I write something romantic. See? Just by writing it, I get giddy. I swear, I'm a really really easy person to woo :)) Well, yah :)) I mean, I get happy over the shallowest and silliest of things, so I don't think it'll be that hard.

But if there is one thing I would probably want that takes a LOT of effort, it would be this (I'm quoting it from a previous blog post):

when someone "proposes" to me, I want it to be in a really nice place, doesn't matter where. but I want it to be filled with tons of blue roses. and sunflowers. actually just blue roses since I know they are impossible to find. but for that guy to take me to a place with tons of blue roses, it would mean he actually took the time to paint white roses blue, or at least ask a lot of people to paint tons of white roses blue. and he actually took the time to find some way to bring those tons of blue roses to a very beautiful place which he took time to find. and he would be the sweetest person in the world if he did that. 

but yah, no one would ACTUALLY go out of his way to find a beautiful place, buy tons of roses, ask people to paint them blue (or just paint them blue himself), put the painted roses in the beautiful place, take me there and "propose". okay as if that would actually happen.

According to this, blue roses mean mystery, the impossible, an extraordinary feeling, enchantment, secrecy. I first saw blue roses in an anime (no, I have never seen one in real life) called Paradise kiss which is undeniably my favorite anime ever. I think, George said that blue roses meant paradise and love, or something like that.

So yah, looking at the 'real' definition, it doesn't make me wonder why I love blue roses that much.

Well, see? That's like, a really one-time-big-time thing, and I think I'd die of happiness and palpitation if someone did that for me. But in all honestly, I'm not expecting anything big :) And it's not like anyone will like me anytime soon :))

I actually think only two things would happen to me in this area of my life:

1. The person who will feel something towards me and actually do something about it will be the person I'd spend the rest of my life with, meaning he'd be the first and last; or
2. I will stay alone forever, designing wedding dresses for gorgeous women :))

Oh well. It's not like I'm looking for anyone right now. My life isn't even that good right now. I still have a lot of things to do on my own :) And like how Yana said it before, I think I'm still too selfish right now to find someone to share my life with. AS IF ANYONE WOULD ACTUALLY LIKE ME HAHA!

So yah. For now, I would just be getting giddy by writing and reading stories about a love that only seems so romantic when in written words. I should go out more :))

now playing: Sara Bareilles' Bluebird from Sara Bareilles' album Kaleidoscope Heart


Hmm... When I have new stories to tell? :))

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